Sunday, September 23, 2012

Slay Day

Had this beautiful Santa Barbara hot sunny Sunday to dive in the ocean who's weather was also chipper with very minimal wave action on a rising neap tide throughout the afternoon. Perfect.

Hit up the homie brosidon who is down to get swooped. Quick seshskies mobbin up the coast. We gear up for freediving and rock the polespears. Bro forgets his fins, "no biggie, take one of mine". Water looks absolutely gorgeous as we suit up. Entering the water is like a dream, soooooo bloody clear. 20-30 feet deep no problem top to bottom and all around. We kick over to the kelp forest. Opaleye are there to meet us. The kook in me thrashes with the one fin in a vein effort to get at the pray. I get a few chances but blow them all eventually spooking the school. Spend some time wrecking lil perch but I get kinda over being a mermaid. Time to man up... I pass my fin to broseidon and swim in.  Huff it up the cliffs, run the trail and hurridly rig up my Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. Snag the speargun too for good measure.

A few minuets later i''m kicking out to sea resting on my inflated bc like a boat. Once I hook up with divebro I expel the bc and sink like a rock to the ocean floor. Once there I crawl along gun at the ready.

Breathing underwater is one of the most incredible feelings imaginable, it is a truly religious experience. Throw in 100ft visibility and a vibrant ecosystem then arm yourself with modern hunting tools and the attainment of nirvana is possible.

Imagine my joy at being completed with the gift of souped up propulsion. Once my fins were secured I was unstoppable mobbin below the waves. My first worthy victim I ambushed on his afternoon nap. He never saw the it coming. One second he is lazily rocking laterally too and fro in the light surf dreaming dreams of plump kelpfish the next he is reeling from a spear passing through his gill plates. Perfect shot placement. I secure the monster and continue the hunt.

The next fishie to catch my attention I see hanging mid column within a group of strands. On his upper back I can clearly make out a gaping wound with a piece of skin hanging. Looks like him and broseidon have already met. BOOM! I blast him. To the end he puts up a struggle.

Kill a couple more rubberlip head in to shore. Broseidon his surprised to see his fish. Passed straight through below the spine no tear out. I have no idea how that fish managed to get off his slip tip. I see a pair of young spearos heading out. "you boys ready to slay some fish?!?" I yell out as I enter the surf zone.

"I'm not a boy!" one of em replies

by god she's right, doesn't she know diving is for men?

I egg them on showing them the tricks of the trade. Kill a rubberlip with the pole to show em how its done. Seem to be more interested in splashing after smelt. Oh well I make my way shallow. White dots announce the presents of the blue eye. I draw bead after bead, finally I make the connection on a big ol fella. Pin him in a crevace but its no good, a large intestine sits pinned under my spear. Then I see the big kahuna opaleye daddy o King and I know what I must do.

Jump out of the ocean mutter some profanities, ditch the perch and grab the speargun.

Killed dat moddafuckin opaleye fo dinna!